I was so relieved when we didn't have to operate actual chainsaws yesterday.
In the first 20 minutes of the class I had made up my mind that I would never operate a chainsaw.
They are so dangerous.
I renamed the class
"If a Tree is Felled in the Forest, Does Anyone Incur a Fatal Injury?"
We go around the room and everyone talks about thier chainsaw experience and what they are hoping to learn from the course.
On my turn I explain that I just thought it would be a useful skill to have to help do the firewood jobs but I changed my mind, I don't need to operate a chainsaw, I'm a great waitress and I can accept that. But I'm going to stay and enjoy the class anyway, I'm enjoying the learning.
He says I would be fine with a chainsaw. I say thank-you and politely disagree.
The only de-gloving incident I wish to experience is removing the layer of latex after i finish washing the dishes.
There was so much good learning packed into the 4 hours! Physics, Math, Body Mechanics.
My very favorite thing was that the instructor took so much time to address "Male Pride". He spoke of accepting that now (age 47) he is not as fast or agile and can not do the same things as he could when he was "his age" he gestures at the boy sitting next to me, probably my age.
He also asks the class "what's a better age to teach your son to operate a chainsaw? age 12? or 16-19?"
"Twelve" I say. "Why?" he asks. "Because the 12 year old is calmer."
"the 12 year old will listen to you and actually remember the safety instructions" says the instructor. "17 year old boys think they are invincible, and they are distracted and crazy all the time."
I wonder which small part of me is clearly still trapped at 17 year old boy. Can I find that part? What will I do with it when I isolate it? Wrestle it to the ground and make it promise never to interrupt my life again? There must be a better way to find peace with this self.
The Instructor (whose name is Dale, which is perfect for me to remember because his speech and mannerisms mirror very much my Uncle Dale's) talks about Women being able to look at a situation and assess it for hazards and dangers that Men don't necessarily notice.
I think about all the women, and how we've isolated ourselves away from each-other, trying to do the dangerous work of raising a family all alone, creating so many unforeseen hazards for ourselves. I've been pondering this for 6 years. 6 years today my first daughter was born. I thought I would just "live tribally" It didn't really exist yet. I have had to create it, but first learn.... or unlearn..... hmmm. such a huge undertaking....
You don't want to be some dude all alone in the bush with a chainsaw. 3 people, he recommends. One to compress a bandage onto your gaping flesh wound and another to go to the road where hopefully there is cell service and wait for the ambulance to arrive.
gah. yes. 3 mothers in a home is a good number.
"so what would you do in this situation... stasia...?" Dale asks
"ummmm..." I look at the whiteboard which is a diagram of lines and dots and arrows.
"Sir, to be honest, I've been having a daydream and I have no idea what the lesson is, because I wasn't paying attention, and this is why I shall not operate a chainsaw."
One last excerpt from the day.
"When is it time to take a break?" asks Dale. "After a tank of fuel." he suggests. He's engaged the group in discussion about the vibrational consequences of having the destruction machine in your hands for hours. Not operating equipment while taking various medications, In intense emotional states. or with classical or trance music playing in your headphones. Ah. Yes. Accelerated Learning Techniques Week.
I keep finding new tidbits of information to apply to the What Went Wrong During Accelerated Learning Techniques Week conundrum.
I speak candidly with Chainsaw Safety Instructor Dale about this. Dale is very supportive, as are so many folks when I request thier opinions on this matter. People keep telling me how common it is for the mind to run off, or whatever words they chose to use.
This is comforting.
After the class commences I go for a skateboard down the smooth pavement of town. I forgot my wallet and my cellphone at home so I can't do anything productive.
It feels amazing to be free. There is woodsmoke in the air and crispy oak leaves decoratively lining the glittering sidewalk. I fly under the covered bridge. "This is a good one" I think. "I'm keeping this moment" ♥
I stitch it together with Erin Heights, the subdivision we used to go to trick-or-treat in as kids, because of the housing density to disposable income ratio. It's the mathematical formula to maximize candy returns. My cousins and I applied it a few nights ago when we went out with our own kids. Now all these memories are quilted together with the people I love. Sarah and Ally and I giggle about costume malfunctions. they are laughing about the eye-patch that's making them hallucinate patterns. "oh you know what I sometimes like to do?! HA! sometimes I push my fingers against my eyes like this!" (I demonstrate) "oh yeah, and watch all the swirling light and dark spots that happen?" chuckles Ally. "yeah I know exactly what you're talking about"
Later I take Clementine chaga hunting with me, because she wants to know.
"what about those dead branches hung up there in the trees. that doesn't seem safe"
"Oh yeah. they can kill ya. come right down and just, BAM. impale you dead on the spot. I learned about that today at Chainsaw Safety. Who knew the forest was so dangerous???"
she shakes her head at me.
"Oh! know what else I learned??? Trees. They spin while they grow!"
"They spin...?"
"Yah! they twirl around and around following the suns light! Isn't that the neatest thing? I can't believe I never knew that!!!"
"Is that why when you cut 'em open it looks like rings?" asks Clementine
"That. is exactly what I was just thinking."
