When I lived in Guelph I invented the renting-movies-as-a-hobby substitute for drinking-alcohol-as-a-hobby.
I decided that the film hobby might serve me well this winter to combat the "lack of vehicle obstacle" and the "isolation in the forest obstacle". When I see an obstacle I see an exciting challenge/learning/growth opportunity.
So a few nights ago I watched "Closer" and it turns out I had seen it before, but I didn't remember the plot well enough so I enjoyed it again.
Basically this movie is about smart sexy people who want to have smart exciting sex with one another. but thier jealousy gets in the way of them appreciating it
I like this movie, I think the acting is good.
but I see the world differently. I think the type of jealousy and possessiveness portrayed in Closer could be fun theatrics for the bedroom, but why drag those heavy emotions around with you in your day to day life?
If these folks had just accepted that they had a really great partner swapping thing going on that was keeping everyone really stimulated and satisfied, maybe checked out some Teal Swan, they could have had an amazing life and lived happily ever after until the next occurrences in the unraveling journeys of thier life paths caused them to need to grow and change. They could have had some really fun potlucks.
I know they wanted kids and all, but people with children manage successful and amicable poly relationships all the time. Maybe they should make more films about cheerful non-monogamous blended families who live happily ever after. Maybe they already make those films. There aren't any video rental stores in Muskoka and I haven't figured out a good way to search the internet for new exciting movies to watch yet...
I heart Huckabees. If you play this one a few times you should really be able to get a sense of "the oneness of the universe" but also "the inevitability of human drama"
If you flip back to your maps of consciousness, you'll note that whatever areas of human drama your character is weak in are going to keep coming up every time the chorus comes around. The only way to resolve them is to explore them, and as you gain more consciousness the exploration will feel like it has more flow. will there be tears? likely. will there be frustration? at times. life is full of contrast that creates rise to new desires.
Something I notice nowadays is that an issue that would have once gotten me stuck for 4 years is now a hiccup that gets me stuck for 4 weeks and I'm sure will eventually be a 4 day scenario and by the end of my life might only grate on my nerves for 4 hours.
I think I'm lucky because I was given a personality that pushed me to explore life, and now I have a high tolerance level, in that, not much really annoys me in any serious way, but I also have a healthy boundary curtain, in that I know how to let in only the brightest light when it's necessary.
I think Polyamory works best when we let go of our own neediness. That isn't to say ignore ones own desires. Just to get more playful with them. There are 7 billion or so people on this planet and a diverse range of experience. To think that we can't get really good at regularly connecting with our favorite types of experiences is extremely silly.
If you go to the page with the levels of consciousness, you'll easily see what types of people are going to have a more fun time engaging in meaningful poly relationships.
Watching Closer reminded me of that Cohen Brothers film... Intolerable Cruelty. I seem to recall that was about endless smart sexy game playing. I think the most important thing to healthy relationships is that when the games are all said and done that people be nice to each-other and re-assure each-other that they will be friends forever. I think this is important whether engaging in some D/s play (because it's important to remind your slave that s/he isn't actually a lower class citizen in real life) or whether simply acknowledging that some component of a relationship will be short term, but the love lives on (like maybe you have an intense fling in some faraway vacation land, and you will probably mostly only be friends on the internet for the rest of your life.)
Why? Because life is too short to waste time not being as awesome as you can be to yourself and everyone you meet.
Doesn't it take the exact same amount of effort to be awesome & understanding as it does to be a cold unfeeling jerk?
I think so.
