Today I want to write about that idiotic expression:
“Everyone is doing the best they can”
“Everyone is doing the best they can”
Sorry New-Age Spiritual Hippies. Everyone is not doing the best they can.
I know what this phrase is trying to get at. The philosophy is trying to explain that people can only perform at the ability of thier skill set with the tools that exist in thier toolbox.
A more accurate phrase I've oft heard used to describe this situation is "dumb as a sack of hammers"
But Spiritual New Age Hippies get offended if you say stuff like that.
"Everyone is doing the best they can" comes across like some horrific translation of an Eastern Philosophy. You might as well go around telling folks "Tao that can be spoken of is not the Constant Tao" for all the usefulness you're adding to Western civilization.
Brene Brown says it. and I love her almost as much as I love Lao Tsu. But I think it's a flawed expression. It lowers our expectations of ourselves and encourages us to tolerate unacceptable behavior from others.
I think that incanting "I'm doing the best I can" when we are actually engaging in moronic slackerdom promotes ever more of the race to the bottom.
Save your "I'm doing the best I can!"'s for when you are in your optimal peak state. Those moments when you are truly proud of your performance.
(Or use it to placate yourself, It's your choice.)
When things aren't going so hot, try this one: "Wow. I really messed up. But I'm going to keep at it until I get it right. I wonder how I could approach this challenge differently in a way that I've never tried before?"
Then think of something you've never tried yet, and try that thing. See if you actually could go above and beyond your current "best".
You're emotions are a guidance system. Depression? Anxiety? Those are just states you've conditioned yourself to settle into when you feel stuck in a habitual pattern that isn't working. The next time you are stewing in your angry chair, get up. Go outside. Go for a jog. You don't have anxiety, you do anxiety. It's a program you've taught your mind and body to run, and the more you run it, the more you actually condition your physiology to enjoy it.
Your brain loves the familiar so it says "yayyyy depression again!"
That's how Sad habits are formed.
Wanna change a habit? You actually have to condition your body to release the serotonin and the dopamine when you are engaging in the behavior you are trying to encourage. And you can do it. It just takes practice. And patience. Think of how many times you've rewarded yourself for doing the wrong thing. Start small. If you are reading this you obviously have access to a computer. Type some keywords about that thing you want to change into your search bar. Do It NOW! I guarantee someone else has overcome that thing you are struggling with and has created something to assist and encourage you.
Why do I have high standards?
So I can give the best of myself to myself. and my family. and my friends. and my community. and still have tons of amazingness leftover to offer the planet.
(Seriously. There are so many people out there who were only given a bag of hammers to get through this life with. I started out with a huge toolbox of privilege. It hardly seems fair.)
Let me let you in on some advice I was given by my buddy Dave Mathews over here:
To change the world
Start with one step.
And however small
First step is hardest of all.
Once you get your gait
You'll be walking tall...
I know what this phrase is trying to get at. The philosophy is trying to explain that people can only perform at the ability of thier skill set with the tools that exist in thier toolbox.
A more accurate phrase I've oft heard used to describe this situation is "dumb as a sack of hammers"
But Spiritual New Age Hippies get offended if you say stuff like that.
"Everyone is doing the best they can" comes across like some horrific translation of an Eastern Philosophy. You might as well go around telling folks "Tao that can be spoken of is not the Constant Tao" for all the usefulness you're adding to Western civilization.
Brene Brown says it. and I love her almost as much as I love Lao Tsu. But I think it's a flawed expression. It lowers our expectations of ourselves and encourages us to tolerate unacceptable behavior from others.
I think that incanting "I'm doing the best I can" when we are actually engaging in moronic slackerdom promotes ever more of the race to the bottom.
Save your "I'm doing the best I can!"'s for when you are in your optimal peak state. Those moments when you are truly proud of your performance.
(Or use it to placate yourself, It's your choice.)
When things aren't going so hot, try this one: "Wow. I really messed up. But I'm going to keep at it until I get it right. I wonder how I could approach this challenge differently in a way that I've never tried before?"
Then think of something you've never tried yet, and try that thing. See if you actually could go above and beyond your current "best".
You're emotions are a guidance system. Depression? Anxiety? Those are just states you've conditioned yourself to settle into when you feel stuck in a habitual pattern that isn't working. The next time you are stewing in your angry chair, get up. Go outside. Go for a jog. You don't have anxiety, you do anxiety. It's a program you've taught your mind and body to run, and the more you run it, the more you actually condition your physiology to enjoy it.
Your brain loves the familiar so it says "yayyyy depression again!"
That's how Sad habits are formed.
Wanna change a habit? You actually have to condition your body to release the serotonin and the dopamine when you are engaging in the behavior you are trying to encourage. And you can do it. It just takes practice. And patience. Think of how many times you've rewarded yourself for doing the wrong thing. Start small. If you are reading this you obviously have access to a computer. Type some keywords about that thing you want to change into your search bar. Do It NOW! I guarantee someone else has overcome that thing you are struggling with and has created something to assist and encourage you.
Why do I have high standards?
So I can give the best of myself to myself. and my family. and my friends. and my community. and still have tons of amazingness leftover to offer the planet.
(Seriously. There are so many people out there who were only given a bag of hammers to get through this life with. I started out with a huge toolbox of privilege. It hardly seems fair.)
Let me let you in on some advice I was given by my buddy Dave Mathews over here:
To change the world
Start with one step.
And however small
First step is hardest of all.
Once you get your gait
You'll be walking tall...
If you give, you begin to live.
If you give, You get the world.
