Why Write?

Recently a friend asked me why I write. (?)

Great Question.

Multiple Answers.

Writing is a phenomenal tool for exploring oneself. I wrote a lot when I was a teenager and I was quickly able to see a lot of my behavior patterns repeating themselves, catch them, and change them. Thus, I was able to have better quality friendships, relationships, and knowledge of my self. (It probably also should be noted that my Mom had Oprah on in the house every day after school, and guests like Gary Zukav had a huge impact on 13 year old me.)

Writing functions as a feedback loop, in that, I will always read back in 5 years and discover how much, and in which ways I have grown. I often find I needn't wait nearly that long until a perspective shift occurs, and I cringe at how dorky I sounded articulating from the less evolved paradigm.

Sometimes the effects are immediate. It's hard to “see” our thoughts when they are swimming around in our heads. So to pull them out of abstraction verbalize ideas on paper (or digital screen) gives some solidity to them. Sometimes I'll start to fret and worry about something. As soon as sit down and read it in words, I think “Really???... if that was someone else's fear I would think it obtuse.” So then I push myself to face the thing I'm avoiding.

Okay, so why publish one's writing?

Oh gawd. Do you think I am comfortable sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings on the internet? 

Do you think I want to be constantly pushing myself to the edge of my ability and attempting to publicly resolve my personal discomforts as an offer for anyone to observe while I strive to create new skills?

NO!

If I had it my way, I'd have a sweet serving gig where I got to chat up the intellectual clientele while I placed delicious plates of nutritious whole foods in front of them. I'd come home with a wad of cash in my pocket. I'd pay my smart, caring, reliable, babysitter generously (after all, my childminder was outside in the fresh air physically engaging with my kids, and tutoring them math and language skills in fun and interactive ways.) I'd relax with my children, probably do some environmentally conscious up-cycled arts and crafts projects together, toss the football around, maybe go for a bike ride, chat about unified field theory with my awesome friends and family, say grace around a harvest table adorned with quinoa, kale, and avocados, read some bedtime stories and live happily ever after.

Hmm. What can I say...? It really seems like God has some alternative assignment for me, because no matter how many times I try and slide that fantasy into alignment, everything collapses even more spectacularly than the time before it.

Argh. What's the deal God? Why won't you just let me be a waitress?

That's probably what I'll ask if I ever sit next to Him on a bus...

Have you ever read a book where a writer writes themselves into the story and it totally screws them up? I've always wondered what the big deal is. Like, change the story, or scrap it. Right?

Wrong. Words have so much power. Sorcery, In fact.

Sara and I were discussing all this recently:

“Have you ever read a book, and had the story parallel in your life as the authors tale unfolded?" I asked.

“Oh yah.” she said. “For sure. All the time.”

“Okay. Well, its like that when you are writing a story, but to the n^th degree. And I realized, If I don't finish it somehow, If I don't write myself out of it, I'll be “stuck” forever. I won't be able to transcend my current model of reality. It's such a horrible trap.... So I have to just courageously and creatively write myself through it...”

Annnnnnnd hopefully learn my lesson not to ever Write myself into a Story ever again...

So many people have encouraged me to write. I'd like to reflect my immense gratitude back for these accolades, because I otherwise wouldn't be sharing it.

"Write about what you know." is what I've been told so many times.

That's amazing advice.

There's one last thing.

(I read this the other day)

Don't let the "everything's already been said" factor become your excuse:

Even if you think you have nothing original to contribute, there is something you've got that someone out there can only hear from you. They need to hear it in your words for it to make a difference in thier life.

I thought about everything I'd ever read, and imagined if the author never bothered to write it because they thought it wouldn't matter.

(that also applies to music, and movies, and paintings, and fresh squeezed orange juice and.... you get the idea. get out there and create.)

....

Oh and don't let the "I don't know what to call it" thing become an excuse. Just call it something and begin. In 2010 I picked the name "stasiacat" for my blog because I was determined to make a choice and start something. I'd probably already have changed it because I think it sounds totally dorky, but it's also kind of irrelevant at the moment.

You know what else I think sounds dorky? The Pirates Magazine. Who cares. Do one thing every day that scares you, even if somebody out there thinks it's dorky.

Every single person out there is afraid of being thought of as "not good enough" or some version of that. Everybody. If they tell you different they are a liar. Go do your thing. You know who you're creating it for.