The Story Of Gaia Fuel

The story starts with the Milk Tank that Jay and Cameron acquired to turn into a sensory deprivation float chamber. With hot tub components, of course. I'm beginning there because the photo of it strapped to the back of the Dodge is lost in the data sea, but my brain did a good job on a copy, and when I squint at it long and hard enough to focus on telling it, I get all blanketed in Fun Smart Cam, and then my heart is kind of in the back of my throat for a few minutes, and then my heart is in the back part of my head just above my neck.

Suddenly I want to go there. Wherever there is. Digger Dan's. Putting a roll up-door on the shop. Watching Cam do wizardly things with welding and wires. Putting screws into the track while Jay has it pinned in place against the siding with the bucket of the excavator. "Now I want you to know I've been working with machines for a long time, stasia, and You can trust me." I turn around to look into the the metal teeth. "Hmm. yes I suppose you could kill me quickly if you sneezed right now."

and I would try to be a good worker, but sometimes I was impatient. Jay has at least the equivalent of my temper. Jay also wants to love the whole world. It's an interesting blend. "Mom. Do you Love Jay?" Zoraya asks. "Oh yes I do baby, very much so." "Then why do you guys always fight?" "Oh I suppose we're just very passionate about our perspectives, is all..."

The Only Rule of Gaia Fuel is "If you say something can't be done, you're fired." This is why people get addicted to startups, I think. Being part of a startup is All The Fun of opening a new Restaurant, except there are almost entirely no rules. Literally just put in a million percent effort and do it. think think think, learn, create, adjust, re-learn re-create, evaluate, ask, ask again, command, tweak. Try again. . Do or Do Not There is No Try! do it. go. farther. even farther than that.

How did I feel at the time about The Startup?
hmmm.

Well. We had moved into our new home/shop barely two months earlier. and before that we were homeless and lived on the beach while I was 8 months pregnant. Which was entirely my doing. I remember the spontaneity of that choice terrifying everyone around us. However it is imperative to choose the right location to give birth. It wasn't in that apartment. So I found a girl to takeover our lease. and then Zach loaned me his warm blankets when I was sleeping in the freezing cold rain on the shoreline of Georgian Bay. and Heather's car came to the rescue. and Heather eventually found Sarah Davie's House. The Pretty River Imaginarium. and Cam said "We are going to send those two a Fruit Basket." and I said "Yes we are."

The Startup was unexpected. or maybe not really. "Jay says he's ready to do the Mind Machine." What did I think? that Cam would paint houses for Peak2Creek and we would live happily ever after? Painting Houses is how you turn an Electronics Engineering Wizard into a Slow Cheetah. I did not notice this until just this very day, but I have been trying to understand it for... maybe forever. and besides. I signed up for a life of excitement and endless possibility. I believe if you are going to be in a relationship, be in it. So the times when I had to suspend my judgement, dismiss my beliefs to agree that anything is possible... those were challenging times, because one wrestles with doubt. Time Travel? Time Travel??!?!?! there are days at playgroup with the other Mama's when you don't feel like saying "actually my husband is determined to invent Time Travel."

I no longer wrestle with doubt.

"You gonna test out the Float Tank?" they would ask me "It will be so great! You can wrestle with all your inner demons. You can see God!"
"If you guys think you're going to lock me inside a Milk Tank, you've got another thing coming."

Gaia Fuel was based on Inventing Hydrogen Technology. (a Free Energy Device)

And the Mind Machine was Cam's passion project because he wanted... hmm. It's not for me to say what he wanted. "To see God." "To be able to remote view the secrets of the universe" "speedlearning" all my skepticism through all that. all my "I'm already happy so I don't need a mind machine." I said firmly. "I'll never put rotating magnetic coils on my head."

______________________________________~*~________________________________________

I stop having fun writing this blog post.
I think about how much fun it is to work on awesome projects with my friends.

I think about being an "essoteric" person and how your band is always at eachothers' throats but you always get back together because the music just sounds so good.

I think about calling Cam for the hundredth time today but I think that is a waste of both of our times because I am just going to brag about how I hacked my own brain and then give him a huge lecture on responsibility.

I call Cam anyways because I am in the mood to have an argument.

I say how much I love Him and miss Him. also Cam is Cheryl Now. so Her.
Love love, and so much happiness. more love.

I say How Much I became Cam. she asks how. I say "I get annoyed about having to eat food now. Which is so silly. I tell myself that's not even my thing and I try and drop that attitude."

So many giggles.

I brag that I finished the mind machine. I give her a huge speech about responsibility. Be a real woman. not a 13 year old girl. I give a speech about language tensing. Stop tensing your language and be successful. Now. No excuses. I list off too many of my accomplishments to even bother re-writing. You all know what I'm capable of. I say "be my friend because I am awesome and smart, and you could learn things from me, I bet." (she says she knows) I say to start paying child support immediately. Well not this exact second, but the very next one that follows it!!!

We giggle to infinity about everything.
I have so much Love for this person. these people.
More giggles. so much happiness.

This in no way means I will entertain douchebaggery.
I have a very strict no douche-bag policy.

I am really glad we got to talk. and I weaseled out of having finish my story properly

but was still to able make a profound point about Life.